{"title":"HOODIES","description":"\u003cp\u003eHoodies featuring original dark humour and hand-drawn artwork. Premium comfort meets bold, unapologetic design.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"qwack-off-hoodie","title":"QWACK OFF Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eMeet Nigel. He's done.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot dramatically done. Not storming-out done. The quiet kind of done. Flat cap. Pipe. The thousand-yard stare of a duck who's heard one too many opinions and has simply stopped caring what anyone thinks about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe has one thing left to say. You already know what it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe QWACK OFF\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHoodie is 280gsm heavyweight drop-shoulder  the kind of weight that feels deliberate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSoft on the inside, solid on the outside, built to outlast your patience with basically everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e Hand-drawn artwork, printed to order in the UK. 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Some sheep are friendly. This sheep is neither.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Wooooollllanker Hoodie carries Neon Rage's most notorious woolly menace — a foul-mouthed field philosopher with strong opinions, questionable hygiene, and absolutely no interest in making a good first impression. Subtle logo print on the front. Large distressed artwork across the back. Heavyweight 280gsm drop-shoulder construction built for everyday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe kind of hoodie that starts conversations and occasionally ends them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAvailable in Jet Black and Platinum Grey. Sizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe Wooooollllanker accepts no responsibility for any offence caused. 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Not available. Gone. Do not disturb.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Brain's Having a Rest Hoodie is for the days when you're physically present but mentally somewhere else entirely — and you'd like your clothing to communicate that clearly. Original hand-drawn Neon Rage artwork on a heavyweight 280gsm drop-shoulder hoodie. Bold print. Proper build. Honest about the situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eThe brain is unavailable. Leave a message after the hoodie.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; Fit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000021292.png?v=1782408065\" alt=\"Neon Rage Size and Fit Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Small","offer_id":58307030778181,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XS","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Small","offer_id":58307030810949,"sku":"JH001-ACW-S","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Medium","offer_id":58307030843717,"sku":"JH001-ACW-M","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ Large","offer_id":58307030876485,"sku":"JH001-ACW-L","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ X-Large","offer_id":58307030909253,"sku":"JH001-ACW-XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58307030942021,"sku":"JH001-ACW-2XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58307030974789,"sku":"JH001-ACW-3XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 4X-Large","offer_id":58307031007557,"sku":"JH001-ACW-4XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Arctic White \/ 5X-Large","offer_id":58307031040325,"sku":"JH001-ACW-5XL","price":36.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_3e37111f-a1a2-4ec1-99ce-ebaa8b7501ae.png?v=1781778111"},{"product_id":"running-on-spite-hoodie","title":"Running on Spite Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eCoffee ran out. Sleep is a distant memory. Optimism left the building some time ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSpite, however, is eternal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Running on Spite Hoodie is for the ones who keep going not because it's easy, but because stopping would mean they win. Original hand-drawn Neon Rage artwork on a heavyweight 280gsm drop-shoulder hoodie. Bold print. Proper build. Fuelled entirely by determination and mild grievance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSpite: the original renewable energy source.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ch3\u003eSize \u0026amp; Fit Guide\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/1000021292.png?v=1782408065\" alt=\"Neon Rage Size and Fit Guide\" style=\"max-width:100%;\"\u003e","brand":"Bellkeeperink","offers":[{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Small","offer_id":58307081437509,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XS","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Small","offer_id":58307081470277,"sku":"JH011-JBK-S","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Medium","offer_id":58307081503045,"sku":"JH011-JBK-M","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ Large","offer_id":58307081535813,"sku":"JH011-JBK-L","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ X-Large","offer_id":58307081568581,"sku":"JH011-JBK-XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 2X-Large","offer_id":58307081601349,"sku":"JH011-JBK-2XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Jet Black \/ 3X-Large","offer_id":58307081634117,"sku":"JH011-JBK-3XL","price":44.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1069\/0091\/4501\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_b5ac916d-8371-4f25-b892-9553ee0226ac.png?v=1781778256"},{"product_id":"red-flags-hoodie","title":"Red Flags Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou saw the flags. You catalogued them. You stayed anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Red Flags Hoodie is for the ones who've been there — who've done the research, ignored the findings, and come out the other side with excellent material and a very good story. Original hand-drawn Neon Rage artwork on a heavyweight 280gsm drop-shoulder hoodie. Bold print. Proper build. Honest about the experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eYou saw the flags. 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Original hand-drawn artwork. The kind of piece that makes people look twice, think for a moment, and then either get it immediately or ask too many questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBold. Confident. Entirely unapologetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures \u0026amp; materials:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight 280gsm fabric — 80% ringspun cotton \/ 20% polyester\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton-faced fabric with modern drop shoulder fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble fabric hood with self-colour drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket with hidden earphone cord feed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem — twin needle stitching throughout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWRAP Certified production — ethically made\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted to order in the UK\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes XS–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare:\u003c\/strong\u003e Wash at 30°C. Do not tumble dry. Do not iron directly onto the print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eIt's a ham sandwich. It's also a statement. 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